i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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