you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
