if i can run in heels then i can drive
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
