In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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