he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
