i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
not ubering you a puppy
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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