Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
