let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
