i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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