You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I don't deserve a penis
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
