I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Found your dick twin last night
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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