At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
