Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
