Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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