You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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