The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
