my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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