He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
