winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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