my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
