if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
just tell him i said nine months
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
