i don't like sucking hair
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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