you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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