I swear she didn't look like that last week.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
