I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
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