officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
