Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Randomize
