some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
he was CRYING into my vagina
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
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