Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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