Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
