I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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