she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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