what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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