margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
