very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
