I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
