She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Couch. On fire.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
