You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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