so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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