So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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