OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
no, he came in my armpit
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
