It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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