They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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