i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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