yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize