Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
