Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
