Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
