Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize