I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
