Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'd cum for enchiladas.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Randomize
