Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
