you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
