We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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