dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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