its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Terrible idea I love it
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
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