It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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