You work out of a Hotel?
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
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