he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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