Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
