He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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