so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize