I'm really into asian looking animals
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
