... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
