just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
