the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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