you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
