I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
