shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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