I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
